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be warned...

all my fic entries have been f-locked.

in any case, if you want to read them, kindly add me AND send a message to inform me.

although i've never had the misfortune of dealing with thieves and bashers (even tho i have a good feeling that they're there and just refuse to show themselves), i have friends who've experienced... things... that have left them insulted, frustrated and most of all, angry.

this may sound selfish, but i don't want any of my stories stolen.

so i'm being careful.

as for commenting... it'd be nice if anyone who would be reading my work would leave one, but it really isn't required. i'll leave the decision of posting your opinions after my entries or keeping them to yourselves... to you~
WE WON! WE WON! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! WE ADKJFHAKLSDJHFLAKJHDFLAKJHDFKAJDFHADKFHJ WON!!!!

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(poster from KFEST organizers announcing CassPH as the winner of the 2013 Fanclubs FanChant Battle

KFEST had posted their announcement yesterday, July 30, 2013 at around 4pm.

I didn't believe it at first because I first saw the 'congratulations' post by a friend and asked to make sure. Then I saw Angel post the link that KFEST had just posted on their official page and started freaking out. After reading and blinking at the poster for several times, I just cried.

I just cried because all the emotions were just flooding me and I couldn't believe it and I just... It's really hard to explain in coherent words. All our hard work, frustrations, pain and just... EVERYTHING had paid off!

WE HAD ACHIEVED OUR GOAL. WE HAD SHOWED EVERYONE THAT CASSIOPEIA IS NOT A DYING FANDOM. CASSIOPEIA IS STILL HERE. CASSIOPEIA IS STILL WAITING AND SUPPORTING JAEJOONG, YUNHO, YOOCHUN, JUNSU AND CHANGMIN.

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This was our last pose just after MIROTIC ended. The explosion of screams behind us was just unbelievable. Standing on that stage with CODE RED was one AWESOME and AMAZING experience. The feeling of dancing for TVXQ with the people who share that same love for the five people who've been through so much in the last ten years... It's something that will never be forgotten.

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The photos on the bottom are from our performance that a fellow cassie took. She had cried during our performance and had proudly said that we were the only fanclub that had made her literally cry. The left photo is again, of our finaly pose and the right photo is CODE RED before our performance. (photo collage by melboy)

other fancams:

the one who took this fancam isn't a cassie and said: "I'm not a cassiopeia but I almost cried because of this performance. A real definition of a FANDOM!"

I had cried again after watching this fancam. I didn't really hear how LOUD the screams and cheers were because we were all on stage and we were all focused on our music.


This is another fancam with a closer view of CODE RED's performance. ^^


---


I had only written the highlights of our incredible experience during KFEST4. I had completely excluded the details of what had happened in between.

1. STAMPEDE INCIDENT

Yes. I've only heard of this kind of thing happening in the news and never thought that I, along with my group would be caught up in the middle of it... or to put it more correctly, just behind it.

We had initially thought of as XANDER (YES. Alexander Eusebio formerly of U-KISS was a guest kpop idol at the event) finally arriving was in fact wrong. CODE RED (it's the name we've all agreed to call ourselves, as we also carry the name of Cassiopeia Philippines whenever we dance) was seated around our "refugee camp" eagerly waiting for the next Kollaboration Dance Cover Contest group to come up on stage. A few from CODE RED had joined said contest and we were there to support them. As I've already mentioned in the first part of my fan account, we've already screamed our lungs out when Bela and Mikki, who had kosplayed Yunho and Changmin with Catch Me as their intro music, were done and we were waiting for JP, who will be dancing a cover to Infinite's music, Melboy (it's a nickname we all call him since we have a similarly named female in the group and call her 'Melle-girl') who will also be dancing a cover of Infinite and Teen Top and Leo, Christine, Yzze, Gielyn and Maria who will be backing up Eena (fellow CODE RED dancer) as she and her group will cover Sistar's Give it to Me.

We'd already seen JP perform on stage and screamed our lungs out especially during his short solo part. Plus we'd also seen a SHINee cover group with a very cute Taemin look-alike, who had all the fangirls screaming like banshees (me included because Taemin is such a bias wrecker for me since he's been improving so drastically it's frightening and surprising and it makes me just so proud of him!).

KFEST had suddenly called a halt to everything just when Melboy's group was about to go on stage. It was then that we had found out about the stampede. They explained that they will be holding an emergency meeting to decide if they should continue or cancel the event. They had everyone inside on lock down. No one was allowed to go in or out.

Waiting was a bitch, to be honest. We were stuck inside the venue, it was very crowded and none from the group wanted to venture into the see of people just to get food (because, honestly it's way too much of a hassle). When the crowds finally thinned somewhat (I assumed that they'd finally allowed the people outside the hall), we saw one KFEST staff holding up a small white board that said "KFEST CANCELLED".

It was such a shame. The emcee for the event came up on stage and explained what the organizers and the management (SM Megamall) have decided. KFEST was cancelled. They didn't foresee this incident happening and for everyone's safety (because some people got injured because of the stampede) they have decided to stop the event and reschedule it two weeks later where the second half of their contests will be continued.

KFEST hadn't revealed any information about the venue, just that the tickets this time will be free. And to compensate, they did a raffle, one of them being a ticket to the upcoming KPOP Republic Concert (SHINee, EXO-K and Dal Shalbet) on September 7. They didn't even say anything about the results of the Fan Chant Battle.

So we left and had a team dinner instead. We were all exhausted, angry and hungry.

2. I ALMOST LOST MY PHONE

Yes. I ALMOST FREAKING LOST MY PHONE! Dan and I had gone to the technical booth for our music and were on our way back. In the excitement and because we just heard the announcement that the Fan Chant Battle was coming up next, I didn't notice that my phone had fallen out of my pocket. My beloved phone. TT____TT I was almost crying as I frantically searched the floor and tried to retrace our steps in the hopes of finding it.

LUCKY for ME, a young girl clad in black --- i don't know if she's a BAP or EXO fan or from another fandom --- was walking around as she held out my phone. I SAW HER AND I JUST... I WAS SO THANKFUL THAT SHE WAS THE ONE WHO HAD PICKED UP MY PHONE and HAD THE INITIATIVE TO LOOK FOR ITS OWNER... TT____________________________TT

I WAS JUST FLOORED. OMG. I WAS BOWING REPEATEDLY AND THANKING HER SEVERAL TIMES before returning to my worried group and telling them that I had my phone back.

Whoever you are, dongsaeng (because I just know that I'm older than you), THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FINDING MY PHONE AND GIVING IT BACK TO ME. *90degreebow*
Two years ago we just had a simple purpose: to show the filipino kpop fandom that Cassiopeia Philippines still LOVE and SUPPORT Yunho, Changmin, Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu.

This year, however, we've added another goal. We wanted to take back the crown.

We started practice a little early, but we've got some new blood and challenging choreography to learn. Every Saturday, we would gather to learn and to brainstorm and to bond. There were times when it was frustrating and I, as one of the leaders almost gave up, but all of us soldiered on until D-Day.

There wasn't a practice day that we were complete. Until we held our last studio rehearsal the day before. Everyone was pumped up and excited and most of all nervous. Who wouldn't be? For some of my group mates, it will be their first time dancing in a competition. But we didn't let our nervous energy affect us.

Yes, we practiced but we also thoroughly enjoyed ourselves while dancing our hearts out in front of the mirrors. It was one of the most enjoyable rehearsals I've had in a long time.

We've hit some snags along the way and I thought that we'd be smooth sailing but then there was another hurdle. We had gone to the venue the day before to check out the stage, how high it was and how we were going to all fit on it. But we weren't allowed inside because it would cause a technicality since one of our competition was present. And then we hit another wall because of the mechanics. We've frustrated ourselves because of the time limit and had all agreed that we will still go with our final mix, assuming that the judges will only be docking points. Learning that they have decided to fade out the music once the time limit was reached had almost ended our routine. We couldn't really do anything because none of us wanted to cut anything out. Plus, the last part of our music was our surprise for our fellow Cassies.

But thanks to the kfest head, with whom we discussed our problem, we could finally breathe a huge sigh of relief. We had explained our side --- add to the fact that he was also concerned for us, asking us if we were okay and if we were ready for tomorrow's battle --- and miraculously, he ALLOWED and ACCEPTED our suggestion! My fellow leaders were so relieved upon hearing his approval it felt like a part of the heavy weight was lifted off our shoulders.

We huddled with everyone, giving out some reminders for the battle, reiterating the important things and together, we prayed. We prayed for a successful routine, and we thanked the Lord for giving us this opportunity to show how much we love TVXQ through dance and cheer.

D-Day: 28 July 2013

We met up at the venue at 9am. As expected, there were already a LOT of kpop fans waiting for the mall to open. When it did finally open, said fans literally ran up four flights of escalators just to get in line for kfest4 tickets. Luckily for us because we were participants, we had a separate line to purchase our tickets. Once inside, we went straight to the technical booth to give a copy of our music and the instructions on how we wanted the lighting effects.

Then we moved on to our next agenda. FOOD. We opted to eat together as a team. It was an amusing coincidence that most of us bought food from the same store (thank you MR. KIMBOP). It was also where we started preparations since none of us were in full costume yet. Plus, two from our group were included in the Kosplay Group Competition as "Yunho" and "Changmin". We promised to support them and yell our hearts out once "Catch Me" started playing. We were all excited and again, as a group in full CODE RED costume, we returned to the hall and made our way to the stage where the participants for the Fan Chant Battle were supposed to be.

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my CODE RED family (photo credit by: yzze and queeny)

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CODE RED with CASSIES (photo credit by: alvin)

At the same time, a few of us went around the venue, even outside of it to the long lines of fans, banners with "CASSIOPEIA is still HERE", "TVXQ/JYJ Fans (with a drawing of the Cassiopeia constellation)", "CASSIOPEIA is STILL alive!! <3 DBSK hwaiting!" and an armful of "믿어요" signs (with a copy of the fanchants printed on the back) to give to all cassies who were present as well as to other kpop fans who agreed to help us cheer. We've actually started giving out the "믿어요" signs earlier to the cassies and other kpop fans we've met before the mall opened and when we were in line for the tickets. Almost all 300 signs were given away. :)

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our CODE RED "refugee camp" --- since we couldn't find any other uncrowded place to sit and wait~^^ (photo credit by: yzze)

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the mountain made up of our bags, props and TVXQ banners (photo credit by: yzze)

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TVXQ banners on top! :) (photo credit by: yzze)

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CODE RED with CASSIES holding up TVXQ/JYJ banners plus our "믿어요" signs~^^ (photo credit by: yzze)

Time came when we were finally called to proceed backstage to prepare for the Fan Chant Battle. As we waited to be ushered backstage, it was also the time when two from our group were introduced on stage for the then ongoing Kosplay Group Competition. Everyone of us was screaming and chanting and singing to TVXQ's "Catch Me". I watched, amazed, as the two girls from our group danced to the song, executing the choreography with perfect timing. The fans that watched were also screaming. TVXQ just has THAT kind of effect.

Finally we were ushered inside the waiting area. It's a battle between BAP Philippines, Anonymous United EXO and Cassiopeia Philippines. We all waited back stage as the emcee made his way back on stage to make some announcements and introduce one of their segments.

CODE RED was anxiously waiting. This was because we were still missing two members. As the time for the Fan Chant Battle neared we grew more worried. Just before BAP Philippines were called on stage, the two remaining members of our group finally appeared. It was then that we all held hands and prayed one last time. We put our hands together and chanted "TOHO~ TOHO~ TOHO~ TOHO~ TOHO~ FIGHT-O!!!" Then we hugged each other for strength and love.

BAP Philippines on stage.

I was surprised at how big their fandom was. Knowing that BAP had just recently debuted and this sudden show of numbers really surprised me. Their chants were certainly loud and clear. Their music was good too, it got the crowd going and cheering with them. We even chanted with them as well. I had wished them luck before they went on stage and a few of them smiled at me. When they finished their performance, some of us clapped and bowed to them. It was our way of telling them that they did a great job in their routine. Again, the gesture was met by smiles and bows from some of them as well.

Anonymous United EXO on stage.

To say that their chants were loud would be a little bit wrong. Their cheers were deafening to the point where even I had to cover my ears. They certainly had the fan power. I expected that because EXO is currently the hottest potato out there and well, they did just have their album launch the day before. The loudness of their cheers had scared me somewhat and worry began to curl in my stomach. I just pushed it aside and watched them silently.

Finally it was our turn.

I think I was shaking a bit. But hearing the emcee call out "Cassiopeia Philippines" loud and clear and the sudden eruption of screams and chants of "DONG BANG SHIN KI! DONG BANG SHIN KI!" from the audience let me focus. Stepping onto that stage and seeing those RED LIGHT STICKS, the BANNERS, the "믿어요" signs. It was exhilarating.

Then the lights went out. Our music started.

Everything and everyone became muted for me. All I could hear and focus on was our music. There were moments where I could see the RED LIGHTS flashing, hear the fans, the cassies chanting... But then it suddenly quieted down when our music transitioned into "믿어요". I could hear just one voice, that of my co-leader chanting into the microphone as we formed the words "XIAH", "MICKY", "HERO", "MAX" and "YUNHO" as the cassies in the audience chanted in time with the song. Then we formed "WE LOVE TVXQ" and "AKTF". That moment I couldn't feel or hear anything. It was as if the sound had been turned off. It wasn't until the intro to MIROTIC that the sound of screams and cheers EXPLODED in my ears.

Words cannot explain how I felt at THAT moment as CODE RED danced to MIROTIC. EVERYONE joined in the chanting but it was more SINGING ALONG to MIROTIC than CHANTING. We neared the end and that final pose to more screams and cheers.

Then we turned our backs. I had forgotten to unzip my hoodie because I was so focused on the music. I had hurriedly unzipped it with shaking hands just in time for MIROTIC to end.

"CASSIOPEIA"

"TVXQ"

"AKTF"

The words that were printed on the backs of our shirts... The second EXPLOSION of screaming... CODE RED turning around to hold hands and do TVXQ's signature 90 degree bow...

Everything felt so surreal.

I couldn't believe that THAT just happened.

Stepping off that stage had finally released the tension in me. I cried as we hugged each other because of all the overwhelming emotions I felt. I cried because we were successful. We had shown everyone present in that hall that CASSIOPEIA IS STILL HERE.

video fancam credit to: eena (thank you so much for filming us while we performed!
i was supposed to be working today and i was... in the morning. call me a lucky girl, but i had my worries because i almost didn't get to do as planned --- because of work. fortunately, i got off by mid-day and went as planned.

at 5:45pm, i arrived at the venue (while i waited for my BFF), SM Mall of Asia Arena, Pasay City --- Big Bang's Philippine leg of their Alive Tour.

i chanced a look at the venue itself and happened upon a group of very tall, bulky bouncers who were trying to herd the concert-goers to lining up where they were supposed to be... that's when i saw the big crowd just behind the fire trucks --- normal scenario for kpop concerts --- huge crowd and very very very long lines.

since i wasn't with my friend yet, i went back to the mall to look for a place to eat dinner --- a good thing too since i haven't had anything to eat and said friend just arrived.

the sad part of this however, started the moment we decided to go to the venue itself to get in:
1) there was no order or organization at all
2) the event organizers keep telling us that there was only ONE line for everyone --- unlike araneta who has 4 entrances, concert-goers get to line up according to their tickets: VIP, Lower Box, Upper Box and General Admission --- but with SM Arena, there was none
3) fans were lined up since morning but they only started letting everyone inside at around 7pm when normally they should've started 2 hours before the time of the concert (which was 8pm by the way)
4) a lot of us, my friend and i included, didn't get to see the opening number because of the stupid line outside
5) when we finally did get inside the venue, there were no ushers/guides to help us to our seats, plus the fans were all jam-packed and we couldn't really get to our section without using brute force --- which we had to literally do if we wanted to see anything of the concert at all and get to sit down
6) i had forgotten to add this bit too --- the sound system wasn't really something to be proud of. yes, we can hear them sing... but there were times (a lot of them too, especially during their ments) that we couldn't understand them even amidst all the screaming which shouldn't be the case.


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Big Bang Alive Tour 2012 - Manila
***sorry the photos are crap. ipod touch photo-taking is not really ideal for concerts but i didn't bring my camera... plus, YG had warned all concert-goers that cameras, especially DSLRs aren't allowed and will be confiscated upon entry to the concert venue***

so after literally elbowing our way to our seats (we actually got our seats wrong but we couldn't move to our proper ones because of all the fans blocking the way), we finally had the chance to focus on the concert itself.

BigBang Alive Tour 2012 Set List

1. Still Alive
2. Tonight
3. Hands Up
4. Fantastic Baby
5. How Gee
6. Stupid Liar

7. Knock Out + High High (GD&TOP)
8. Strong Baby + What Can I Do (Seungri)

9. Gara Gara Go
10. Number 1
11. Cafe
12. Bad Boy
13. Blue
14. Love Song
15. Monster
16. Feeling

17. Only Look at Me + Wedding Dress (Taeyang)
18. Wings (Daesung)

19. Haru Haru
20. Lies
21. Last Farewell

Encore:
Heaven
Bad Boy
Fantastic Baby

(like i said, because of the utter stupidity and total lack of preparation of the organizers a lot of the fans, me and my friend included, didn't get to see the opening of the concert so i'll just put in the songs that we did get to see performed)

so i just found out that BB performed Fantastic Baby twice. LOL. anyway, after we elbowed our way inside to our seats --- we were in the wrong section by the way but there were too many fans and non-existent ushers to show us where we should have been seated --- and we finally got to start enjoying BB's concert.

we happened upon the second half of How Gee when we got in... then listened to Stupid Liar as we were elbowing our way in... when we finally got to our (wrong) seats, Taeyang, Daesung and Seungri were already having their ment. Surprisingly, there was no translator present, all three guys can hold their own, especially Taeyang who was good at speaking english~^^ they also started singing a medley of songs in a capella + beatboxing --- a bit of Knock Out and then GD's latest One of a Kind.

then GD&TOP came out singing their duet which, of course, had everyone on their feet and singing-shouting along with them. it was a good thing that i brought my foldable binoculars (bought from the last super junior concert - SS2) and i could freely oggle GD's sweaty yet still beautiful face and TOP's aakljdfhaksdjhalkdfjahfdkj!!! gorgeous face and eyes (sorry, he's my bias and he's just... OMG!). TOP in person is just something else... the charisma rolling off of him is just... every time he walks out, raps or sings the crowd goes crazy wild screaming their lungs out. then there's GD. GD is GD and he's such a crowd pleaser and he always talks to the fans. i was wowed by both him and Taeyang when they conversed in ENGLISH to everyone.

then Seungri's solo is up. i gotta tell you, Seungri isn't my bias and apart from me liking him dancing (tho i really like Taeyang dancing more~) he totally just blew me away. Seungri in person is totally different. yes, he does look the same as when i've seen him on tv or posters but looking at him in person is just wow... there was this one magical (to me at least) moment where he was performing his solo and he looked directly at the camera and just... smiled. the fangirl in me just melted and all i could think about was aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeee how cute! <3<3<3 Seungri's smile is just flak;djfladkfka!!!

Gara Gara Go and Number 1 were next and i think both my friend and i remained standing for most of the two-and-a-half-hour concert... the energy didn't die out at all and when TOP's intro for Cafe was heard we went wild again... TOP's deep voice just sends shivers (of the good kind) up my arms... Bad Boy and Blue had the fans singing along while Taeyang added his adlibs.

Love Song came on and the fans never seemed to run out of energy let alone their voices. and then Monster which meant more screaming and singing and just scream-singing in general~ LOL.

sadly i wasn't familiar with Feeling when they sang this but i still joined the fans in trying to sing along~^^ *goestohideherself*

Taeyang's solo was just... i really can't think of a right word for this... the only word that comes to my mind is... sexy. LOL cause he was performing and his voice was just wonderful and then he was dancing and then HE TORE HIS SHIRT OFF and well... we were all screaming incoherently by then... then he started singing Wedding Dress... and it's my favorite of his solo songs and just... kladhgkljhadkajdghkajgh!!! Taeyang i love you!

i've always looked at Daesung as the clown of the group... but one with such impressive vocals when it comes to singing and belting out notes... he did not disappoint at all. 날개 (Wings) was just an impressive showcase of his vocals and now i love the song more and it's been on repeat in my head since. ^^

in white outfits, they sat in chairs and sang one of my favorite BB songs of all time. 하루하루 Haru Haru. they sang it in acoustic-orchestra-ish version and just... i was so happy to finally hear this song sung LIVE! everyone was singing along and the boys were just enjoying it and towards the end they let the fans sing the chorus just before belting out one last time~

the fans were on high energy once again once Lies and Last Farewell came on and we were scream-singing once again waving light sticks and just wishing for the concert to never end~

when Taeyang said that they were gonna say goodbye there were very very loud protests. the boys just smiled and waved and thanked the fans and told us we had a beautiful voice and they loved the philippines~^^ they said 'Salamat' (thank you in english) and then 'Mahal Ko Kayo' (i love you in english) and then TOP said it again and just... screaming fans again (of course i was screaming along with them~XDDDDDDD)... then they went backstage and the lights went out.

we weren't worried of course cause we all knew there was still the encore. we waited, screaming WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE! over and over again until we heard GD's and Taeyang's voices.

they came out dressed in black, GD was holding a light stick, Taeyang was swinging a towel around, TOP wore his big pilot's hat, Daesung was running around and Seungri carried a panda. LOL they sang their encore songs... i'm really fuzzy about which came first but from what i remember, Heaven and then Seungri sat the panda plushie down right on the front of the stage and then there was Fantastic Baby again and everyone was crazy scream-singing again and the boys were running around the stage and their dancers came out and were taking photos of each other and the boys as well... then i think they sang Bad Boy again, then Seungri came back to the front of the stage and took a picture of the panda, the panda with TOP's legs and then included himself... then Taeyang once again took his shirt off and threw it to the crowd and everyone was screaming again... then GD threw his jacket to the fans too... more screaming... then Seungri took his jacket off and crouched on the left side (facing the audience) of the stage and handed it out in exchange for a stuffed toy (i think this was a panda too) and then there was even more screaming... then the unsuspecting Daesung got doused with mineral water... by Taeyang or Seungri... i don't really remember the first pouring of water but TOP was the one i remember clearly cause while Daesung was singing he took a towel from the stack then a water bottle and opened it and snuck up behind Daesung and just poured the whole bottle on him... Daesung was such a good sport about it that he went and took a bottle for himself and sprayed the nearest fans with water. LOL

the boys also introduced their band and then there was a part too that they were about to exit but then the doors to the backstage wouldn't open so they were 'forced' to face the fans again... to our utter amusement and delight.

i really think they sang one more song but i was too focused on TOP wearing a sparkly pink bow-headband while he walked around the stage singing... LOL that was such a cute, dorky sight... LOL and then they were walking backstage but then Taeyang dragged him back and then TOP did this adorable dancing-shuffling while still wearing the sparkly headband and we were screaming (i was scream-laughing at the cuteness and just... LOL) again. then he turned to the audience one last time and said 'Mahal Ko Kayo' in this deep slightly shy voice that had everyone screaming again~^^

so the concert is over and we sat down for a bit to just gather ourselves... and just breathe... this was my third kpop concert and so far, this kind of tops my list (my complaints earlier aside) because the entire thing was LIVE and BIG BANG was just so full of energy (even tho both my friend and i noticed that Taeyang's voice sounded exhausted) and they had a LIVE BAND and just... wow...

i'm really hoping they come back next year... i'll watch them again... but hopefully for the organizers who will be handling them next time they're here, they better be WELL PREPARED for EVERYTHING. i'm sure i'm not the only fan who would be complaining about their lack of preparations and organization outside of the venue when it came to falling in line and letting us in. seriously, they should have known better and they're going to suffer and receive a lot of complaints because of what had happened last night.

all they needed was just to organize lines for every ticket --- VIP, Lower Box, Upper Box and General Admission --- it's actually a simple thing to do, since they have this hug entrance with several doors... sadly, they didn't do it last night and that resulted in frustrated jam-packed fans who weren't lucky enough to catch the opening of the concert.

birthday wishes~ ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

i shouldn't be doing this but i just wanted to try it out~^^

it'd be obvious from the title that my birthday's coming up~ sometime next week~^^ i'll let you guys guess when~XDDDD

wishes... the only thing i wish for right now is to just have the entire TVXQ fandom settle down and make peace... the court verdict will come out before my birthday so i'm praying that it would be a decision that is just and fair and without malice, for both SM's and JYJ's sakes. this fandom seriously cannot (and will not) take any more bullshit and stupidity.

i have lots of wishes... tho i know most of them will not be granted (yet)... but yeah~ one is free to dream~^^

in real life, i just want to be as happy as i can~ enjoying the little things and of course, while also helping my family out in the process... the way things are now, i'm hoping that i'll be able to pace it out and be patient enough because i know that someday i will be getting (finally) what i want (and need)...

so... enough drama!!!

as a virtual birthday present~ can i ask for fics or banners or siggies or anything that will strike your fancy? LOL~XDDD (is this too much for me to ask, i wonder?)

we all know i'm a BIG fan of TVXQ~ but i'm also a fan of Super Junior, SHINee, Big Bang, B2ST, Miss A, 2NE1, MBLAQ, Oneway, FT Island and CN Blue (and other kpop groups)... but yeah, biggest bias goes out to TVXQ... since i'm a cassie at heart~^^

i'll leave the creativity to you guys~ and i'm totally not expecting anything from this~

this... this is just something i wanted to try out~ :b *runs away*

"W"

"W"

夜空に浮かんだ 星が文字を描き出すのは
Yozorani ukanda hoshiga mojiwo egaki dasunoha
The letters that the stars created in the night sky

偶然じゃないと 今もまだ信じてるよ
Guuzen janaito imamo mada shinjiteruyo
I still believe that it is not just by chance

同じ闇の中で 同じ距離のままで
Onaji yamino nakade onaji kyorino mamade
In the same darkness, in the same distance

W<ダブル>を描き続けている
W wo egaki tsuduketeiru
We are painting the Win the same way

君に見つかるように もっと輝くから
Kimini mitsukaruyouni motto kagayaku kara
We will shine more and more so that you can find us

keep in mind that I love you.
keep in mind that I love you.
Keep in mind that I love you.

きっと
kitto
I wish…

いつか逢えるから 瞳を閉じる度君を想う you're everything
Itsuka aerukara mewo tojiru tabi kimiwo omou you're everything
Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close my eyes, you're everything

君が居ることが 今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Kimiga irukotoga imamo mada atarimae nandayo
It is still natural that you are by our side

ただ今は君が幸せであると願い
Tada imaha kimiga shiawasedearuto negai
We can only wish that you are happy

僕らの階段をひとつひとつ登っていくよ
Bokurano kaidanwo hitotsuhitotsu nobotte ikuyo
We will climb our stairs one by one

僕らはまだ僕らの未来を想像しながら 君を待ってるよ
Bokuraha mada bokurano miraiwo souzou shinagara kimiwo matteruyo
We are still waiting for you, imagining our future

きっと
Kitto
I wish..

いつか逢えるから 瞳を閉じる度君を想う you're everything
Itsuka aerukara mewo tojiru tabi kimiwo omou you're everything
Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close our my eyes, you're everything

君が居ることが 今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Kimiga irukotoga imamo mada atarimae nandayo
It is still natural that you are by our side

いつか逢えるまで 君の居場所は守ってるよ
Itsuka aerumade kimino ibashha mamotteruyo
We will keep your place here, until the day we can meet again

君ともう一度 笑えると信じてるから 
Kimito mouichido waraeruto shinjiterukara
We believe that we can laugh together with you once again

You're my love Please hold on
You're my love Please hold on
You're my love Please hold on

時が流れても どんな痛みが待っていても
Tokiga nagaretemo donna itamiga matte itemo
Even when the days pass by, and that there may be pains

君はいつまでも 僕たちの 「プライド」なんだよ
Kimiha itsumademo boku tachino "pride" nandayo
You are always our "PRIDE"

夜空に浮かんだ 星に君が呟いたのは
Yozorani ukanda hoshini kimiga tsubuyaitanoha
The words that you murmured to the stars shining in the nightsky

さよならじゃないと 今もまだ信じてるよ
Sayonara janaito imamomada shinjiteruyo
We still believe that it is not “Good bye”

同じ空の下で 同じ夢を描き
Onaji sorano shitade onaji yumewo egaki
Under the same sky, dreaming the same dream

W<ダブル>を探し続けている
W wo sagashi tsuduketeiru
We are still searching for the W

同じ形のまま ずっと輝くから
Onaji katachinomama zutto kagayaku kara
We will always shine in the same shape

keep in mind that I love you.
keep in mind that I love you.
keep in mind that I love you.

逢いたくて 逢いたくて
aitakute aitakute
I want to see you, see you

逢いたくて 逢いたくて
aitakute aitakute
I want to see you, see you

逢いたくて 逢いたくて 
aitakute aitakute
I want to see you, see you

逢いたくて 逢いたくて 逢いたくて
aitakute aitakute aitakute
I want to see you, see you, see you

きっと
kitto
I wish…

いつか逢えるから 瞳を閉じる度君を想う you're everything
Itsuka aerukara mewo tojiru tabi kimiwo omou you're everything
Our paths will cross again, I am thinking about you every time I close my eyes, you're everything

君が居ることが 今もまだあたりまえなんだよ
Kimiga irukotoga imamo mada atarimae nandayo
It is still natural that you are by our side

いつか逢えるまで 君の居場所は守ってるよ
Itsuka aerumade kimino ibashoha mamotteruyo
We will keep your place here, until the day we can meet again

君ともう一度 笑えると信じているから
Kimito mouichido waraeruto shinjite irukara
We believe that we can laugh together with you once again

Source: title156 @ youtube & chara1019
Translation: smiley @ OneTVXQ.com
Credits: OneTVXQ.com { One World. One Red Ocean. One TVXQ! }
Credits: chara1019

when i first heard this song, i couldn't speak for a couple of minutes. the corners of my eyes were stinging and there was a painful tug in my heart. i was crying. it's a bit dramatic, i know. but the song just says it all.

this song tells everyone, most especially Yunho and Changmin, that Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu miss them terribly and that they love them so much. thinking about how they looked so sad while singing "W" is making me tear up right now.

"W" is a very well-composed song. it's filled with passion, longing and most especially love. JaeChunSu's love for their fans and their love for Yunho and Changmin. i'm sure that if they can, Yunho and Changmin would've come to Japan to watch JaeChunSu's thanksgiving concert. they would've joined them to sing onstage too.

when JaeChunSu sang "I Have Nothing" i had also cried. the lines "don't make me close one more door, I don't wanna hurt anymore... I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you..." had me tearing up. but "W" made me really cry. i wish i could've been there to see them myself, but circumstances aren't that giving.

"W" is what JaeChunSu have wanted to say all along. a message full of meaning and hope and love and faith. a message for cassiopeia and bigeast and all their fans worldwide. a message for Yunho and Changmin. a message that says that they will keep waiting until the day that the five of them can stand on the stage together again.

"W" is telling everyone to Always Keep the Faith.

Tags:

The Most...

i'm currently suffering, again, from my blasted writer's block so i can't update my fic right now since no matter what i do i get frustrated and delete what crap i started writing~ sorry about the cursing but i'm just really frustrated right now... TT^TT

i apologize to all my readers, especially to those who have been waiting patiently for my update~ i'm going to try and get over this 'obstacle' very soon so please bear with me a little longer~ i really feel bad for you guys~ my poor readers~ TT^TT

so... just to pass the time and hopefully to get my inspiration back, i read. yes. i read other fics out there~ mostly on winglin since i can access it during work~

i'd like to share some of the most interesting stories i've read so far, even though some of them needed some revisions because of the grammar and sentence composition and whatnot~ sorry... that's just the grammar nazi talking~ here we go:

Ultraviolet
From The Wrong Side Of The Tracks
Then There Was You
Insanity... In A Fun Way
Shattered Love
N.B.S.B.
Midnight Romance

well.. those are my recommendations... i just have the links on here and not the fics themselves. i wanted to share them to anyone looking for a good read~

*note: the fics linked above are not owned by me but i have read all of them and found them to be very satisfactory. all the credit for each of the stories stated above goes to each of its authors. they are very talented people. ^^b

there is this one other fic that i'd like to recommend and i think it's posted on her LJ. it's called 'Shining Fortunes', it's a fic with yunho/jaejoong pairing being the main characters. it's also a wonderful story full of angst, sadness, craziness and love...

so that's it. just sharing~ i hope i can get back on track soon... i want so much to write but can't. *sighs deeply*